It was such a double-edge sword because on one aspect, I wanted to tell her everything. I needed someone to vent to about my problems—someone who could possibly understand my fucking struggles and help me through them, but I couldn’t get past that nagging fear of rejection. I didn’t want my Mistress—I didn’t want Bella—to see me in such a poor light. As this fucking weak and pathetic man who didn’t have the courage to stand up to his family or friends and profess the truth of his love for the BDSM lifestyle…regardless of the consequences and where it led him.
Even though I was her sub and will be until the day that she cast me away, I also needed her to see me as more than that. I wanted her to see me as a man that she could one day, possibly, consider being with.
In the end, I wanted Bella to know me more than anything and that need took precedence over my pride.

Edward Cullen ~ Chapter Twenty One




Inside Mistress Marie




 ~The Ultimate Test~

His wide, questioning eyes followed my every move as I paced the room, slapping my purple flogger, relentlessly, against my bare thigh. The stinging sensation, accompanied with the soft snapping noise, was serving as an immediate distracter.
I should’ve ordered him to keep his eyes on the floor, but my head wasn’t quite in the game, and I was having a hard time staying focused. My nervous energy was radiating off of me in waves and only seemed to get worse with every passing second. It was the first time in a long time that I felt this antsy about a decision of mine and I was struggling to find the underlying cause.
The truth was that I had no doubt that what I was doing was right, and that alone gave me the confidence to continue forth with my plans. The only thing that filled me with uneasiness was the possibility that he wouldn’t come—that my final challenge would be too much for him, and just like I’ve always expected, he would realize that this lifestyle wasn’t so glamorous. He would run back home with his tail in between his legs, pack up all of his things, and be gone before the end of the night.
A week ago, that was what I was aiming for. My main goal was to throw him into choppy waters without a paddle or measly life preserver to keep him a float. I was so angry at him for putting me in this situation. The audacity that he had to blackmail me by threatening to expose my life as a Domme was infuriating.
How dare he walk into my life, uninvited, and demand things out of me. The arrogant display of male chauvinistic behavior was a complete turn off. I’m sure with his obvious good looks that women, who didn’t know any better, fell for that sort of cockiness on a daily basis. It was evident by the way he spoke; confidence was not an issue for him.
However, I wasn’t that easily persuaded.
So, I decided to knock him down a peg or two and make him regret that he ever met me. My resentment was so strong and merciless, that it basically ruled me, and kept me from feeling any sort of sympathy towards him. I was able to steam roll him at every turn and it made things a whole lot simpler.
However, I wasn’t far from complications.
This vindictive and all consuming vendetta that I harbored for him was growing into this uncontrollable monster. My actions were slowly becoming something I didn’t even recognize in myself, and that blind sense of revenge was what made me punish him so harshly with the horse. Normally, I would’ve made a new sub clean my toilet or polish my tile with a toothbrush for his first infraction, but my thoughts were totally skewed. The moment he disobeyed me with James was the opportunity I’d been hoping for. It was a way to end things once and for all, and as a result, I went past the point of being fair and just.
In my rash mind, I figured that the horse would teach him a valuable lesson for trying to hustle me, and I assumed that his suffering would make him realize that he wasn’t cut out to be a sub. It was supposed to be a win-win situation for me. I would make him pay for pissing me off, and he would end up breaking the contract, leaving on his own regards.
The only problem with that was that I didn’t enjoy punishing him. The whole thing ended up blowing up in my face because he didn’t squirm under the pressure like I expected. In fact, it only seemed to increase his determination. In the entire twenty minutes that I left him on the horse, I never heard him yell, plead, or cry like all my other subs.
Not once did he beg me for mercy…
All was eerily quiet in the playroom.  
When I did return, I saw that he was still trying to keep his family jewels off the wood by balancing, quite steadily, on his tiptoes. There was sweat pouring down his forehead and fierce concentration in his face. It was clear to me that he was doing all that he could to withstand the discomfort and pain.
It was in that moment that I finally saw that there was something very different about him, and it wasn’t his superhuman leg strength or his impossible willpower that had me taking a second glance at him. It was the look in his eyes. The same devotion he had before the punishment was still behind those emerald greens. He held not one ounce of animosity towards me, and that was the first time I’d seen that sort of response in a sub.
It was as clear as fucking day…he still wanted me.
Sure, all my previous subs claimed that they truly loved me and worshipped the ground I walked on, but it was all part of the fantasy for them. The whips, handcuffs, spankings, cock rings—everything was merely props in their little play. Which was fine by me, I understood that need to express themselves more than anyone, but it still left me feeling empty and unfulfilled.
There was a puzzle piece that was missing, and for a long time I didn’t know what it was. Finally, after some soul searching, I realized that I needed someone who was a natural submissive—a man, who not only wanted to be dominated by a woman, but actually craved it. It was that unique feature, a sort of a diamond in the rough, which I’d been longing for. Unfortunately, after a few years of constant disappointment, I retired the hope that one day I would find that rare jewel…
Well, until just recently.
“Angela?” I growled into the phone. It’d been only three minutes since I first called her on the two-way, requesting his presence. The longer the wait got, the more I feared that he finally had enough. Panic was starting to seep in. “What the hell is taking so long?”
I took a furtive glance over at my silent slave, Mr. Harrison, who was tied to my Saint Andrew’s cross; he was looking at me with a slightly perplexed expression. My hand tightened around my flogger as I waited in anticipation for my sister to update me on the impending situation.
What is going on out there?
“Hey, Bells. He’s on his way now. He was using the restroom,” Angela answered in a chipper than average tenor.
The breath I was holding came out in a soft whoosh, and I turned away from Mr. Harrison’s gaze so he couldn’t see my relieved smile. There was something about showing my emotions that ruined the whole mystique of my role as a Dominatrix, and I always tried to keep a strict poker face whenever I was in the playroom with a client—however, as much as I wanted to be aloof, I still couldn’t disguise the genuine happiness in my voice.
“Alright. Thanks, hun,” I replied in a gentler tone.
The weight of all my concerns was instantly lifted and I started to feel like myself again. It aggravated me how much anxiety I had over him—a freaking submissive! Needless to say, it was very uncharacteristic of me, and I felt as though I had no control of my emotions anymore.
The truth was that he was making me feel like everything was spinning wildly around me…
It scared the living shit out of me.
“Mistress, can I speak freely?” a timid voice asked.
My thoughts were so consumed with him that I completely forgot about my other obligation. Turning on my heel, I gestured my hand dismissively at Mr. Harrison, permitting him to speak as I walked over to my wall of whips to pick out another toy.
“What exactly is my role in all of this, Mistress? Am I to merely watch or will I play a specific part in this session of ours?” he questioned tentatively.
Mr. Harrison was a regular client of my mine. He was a CEO of some Investments company in New York, and traveled to Chicago on business quite frequently. He was in his early sixties, happily married to the same woman for forty years, had four grown kids with her, and was secretly my very devoted slave.
We’ve been together for some time now, and he was one of my absolute favorites. He always paid well over what was asked and never disrespected the rules of my Dungeon. There were a few times that I’ve had some clients come into my haven and have a catalog of demands for me in the playroom—I mean, having a list of limits was fine, and I expected that, but to completely choreograph a session was crossing the line.
I liked to keep the realm of spontaneity in my Dungeon.
Mr. Harrison was the same way in that aspect. So, when he questioned me about the young guy that was sitting with Angela, I jumped at the chance at improvisation. It didn’t take much sweet-talking from me to get Mr. Harrison on board, either. He was willing to try something new, and he was always eager to please me.
That was a tell-tale sign of a loyal submissive.
“I’ll will inform you when the time comes what part you’ll play, is that clear, slave?” I asked tersely.
“Yes, Mistress,” he replied, glancing away from my hostile glare.
In all truthfulness, I had no idea what the hell I was doing. I hadn’t determined what role he was going to play or what exactly I was going to do to test my newest sub’s commitment to me. All I knew was that he passed the first phase by stepping up. The fact that he was willing to face an unknown challenge head on was very admirable.
The only question was: How far was he willing to go and how far was I going to push him?
Deciding on my toy, I removed it from its place holder, and grasped onto it tightly. It felt right in my hands, and I whipped it a couple times in front of me, testing its weight and durability. Granted, it wasn’t as loved as my purple flogger, but I knew that it was going to do the trick for the plan that was currently hatching in my wicked mind.
I turned to my slave and smiled deviously. “Do you trust me?”
“Yes, Mistress,” he replied without hesitation.
“Very good, slave. Now…” I smirked playfully, “let’s see what’s holding up our very special guest, shall we?”
I whacked my slave with the top of my crop as I passed him, making a loud smacking noise, and sparking instant gratification within me as I watched the red hue brighten on his puckered skin.
Yes, this toy will do just fine.
Now that I had my plan in mind, I was anxious to get the party started. I wasn’t sure how receptive he was going to be about it, but either way, I would know how sincere he truly was about being my twenty-four seven.
In all honesty, he was the first one I’ve ever tried to take on as a full time sub. In the past, the men I was dominating would come over on the weekends, and I would whip them, humiliate them, and basically help them live out their deepest desires. These relationships would never lead to anything sexual, and I had strict rules when it came to physical intimacy. The whole notion of sex was a tricky situation and it rarely ended up the way people wanted it to. The only one I’d ever tried to make it work with was James, but he was my boyfriend at the time, and that was a whole new set of circumstances.
Besides, Domination was so much more than just sex. It was about the sensations of pain and eroticism, and how all of it coupled into something that neither the Dom nor sub could ever fully comprehend. There was something magical about the trust that two people were willing put into each other, almost blindly.
The whole concept seemed very romantic to me and that was basically why I got into it in the first place.
As I approached the door, I took one last glance at Mr. Harrison, and I could see that he was ready to go. That was a great relief to me because even though it was my role as a Dominatrix to treat my slave’s like their opinions and feelings didn’t matter, it couldn’t be furthest from the truth. The reality was that if I sensed one trace of unease in him, I wouldn't hesitate to put a stop to the whole thing.
I would never force anyone to do anything they didn’t want to do.
Plain and simple.
Taking a deep breath to center myself, I reached out and opened the door just a crack. As I peered out, I noticed that Edward was turned away from me and looking down the hallway. My eyes roamed over his body, sizing him up, and trying to get a feel of his state of mind. His body seemed slightly tense, but that was to be expected.
He is something to look at, I mused inwardly.
The sudden sound of the creaking hinges must have alerted him to my presence because he swung around swiftly, locking eyes with me. The look of panic was written all over his face, and I had to fight the urge to chuckle.
His reactions were so comical and he had the most expressive face that I’ve ever seen. Everything he was thinking and feeling flashed across his face like an automated banner.
I, however, wasn’t so easily read.
Actually, I was very conscientious of my emotions whenever I was around Edward because I didn’t want him to know how much I was enjoy myself. I mean, if I was to let him know how his boyish good looks and smoldering green eyes were slowly becoming a fierce addiction of mine, I would lose all my leverage.
I wasn’t going to be the one who cracked first.
“Get in here,” I ordered as I stepped aside and widen the door so he could come in.
I watched him with amusement as he walked to the middle of the room and looked around with large eyes. He was taking in all of his surroundings, eventually landing on occupied Mr. Harrison. The tension increased tremendously as the two men stared each other down, and I decided that it was the perfect to intervene. As I took my first initial steps toward him, he glanced back at me for a split second before he bowed his head and dropped to his knees.
Clever boy.
“So well behaved,” I stated very pleased as I put the tip of my crop to his chin and lifted his head up. I stared down at him, feeling so powerful and sexy. “Do you love me, pet?”
“Yes, Mistress,” he answered ardently.
That simple declaration was all I needed to know that he was primed.
 I smirked, knowing that I had him. “Are you willing to do anything for me?”
 “Yes, I will do anything, Mistress,” he replied eagerly and truthfully.
The sincerity behind his eyes was causing my pulse to quicken and I had to beat back that feeling of elation. He couldn’t know that he affected me in such a way. It would ruin everything.
“That’s good, my pet. I want you to prove your loyalty to me,” I cooed.
“Anything, Mistress,” he said hoarsely.
Taking a step back from him to give him some room, I pointed my crop at him and spouted out my demands. “Remove your shirt.”
“Yes, Mistress,” he answered without hesitation as he removed his shirt.
Edward balled the fabric in his hands and discarded it on the floor next to him. He looked up at me, waiting for my next move, and I couldn’t stop looking at his chest. It was hard for me to stay completely focused because he really was quite beautiful. His body was remarkable, and I constantly found myself getting lost in the architecture of it all. Everything from his lean and muscular arms, down to his six pack stomach, which pointed into a coveted V, often had me in a forgetful state.
“Now remove your pants,” I commanded as I side-stepped him, picking up his t-shirt from the floor, and throwing it on one of my empty benches.
Edward rose to his feet, keeping his gaze to the floor the entire time. His chest was moving up and down rapidly, and his breathing became more labored. He took off his shoes and kicked them both to the side with a little more vigor than required. The pressure in the room was starting to close in and I felt it coming from both of the men. Edward’s nervousness was a bit stronger, and I watched him carefully as he unbuttoned his jeans, taking a large intake of air before sliding them down his thighs.
Glancing back at Mr. Harrison, I noticed that his fists were clenched and his brow was furrowed as he stared intently at Edward. It was apparent that he wasn’t completely at ease with what was going on, but instead of stopping it with a safe word, he grunted loudly.
I wasn’t sure if that was a good thing, but sense he showed no signs of further distress, I presumed that he wanted to continue. So, turning my attention back to Edward, I saw that his movements were stilled and his thumbs were just barely hooked in the rim of his boxers. His head was shifted slightly upward and his eyes were fixated on a specific point to my immediate left. I didn’t have to follow his gaze to know that the look of confusion and hostility that marred his chiseled features was directed at my tied-up slave in the corner.
The realization that he was more concerned with his male audience than he was with pleasing his Mistress was a bit of a disappointment, and to be honest, I expected more out of him.
My displeasure of his actions was evident in my tone as I snapped. “Is there a problem?”
He jerked his head in my direction at the sound of my voice, and as his eyes bored into mine, I saw that there was overwhelming guilt pouring out of him. The clarity of his feelings were laid bare to me, and I was able to capture in one look how truly devoted he was to me. The apology of his lapse in judgment was at the tip of his tongue, and I knew that he was going to pay better attention my needs in the future.
That knowledge alone made me feel so unbelievably…smug.
It didn’t matter what I did to him or how cruel I was to him, he was always coming to come back to me. The fact of the matter was that at the end of the day, I was his Domme and he was my sub. The one who had complete control in this relationship was me.
We’ll see how much he’s willing to give…
 “No problem, Mistress,” he mumbled almost incoherently as he pushed down his boxers in one swift motion.
Very pleased with the work of art that stood naked before me, I smiled. “That’s better.”

Bending down at the knee, I reached out and picked up his boxer shorts. There was a perfect place I wanted to put my newly acquired trophy, and like any Domme, I wanted to be able to see it anytime I desired. Turning my head in Mr. Harrison’s direction, I stood up and walked over to where he was, placing the cotton fabric on his head.
There. A crown for a sloth.
However, when I didn’t receive the response of gratefulness that I deserved, I smacked my possession hard on his chest with the tip of my crop. “What do you say, slave?”
“Thank you, Mistress,” he replied feverishly.
He was covered in sweat and I could tell that he was enjoying himself more than he was letting on—in fact, I think he’s been getting more turned on since my beautiful and beyond delicious sub dropped that last bit of his clothing.
Which reminds me, where was I?
Pivoting on my heel, I turned and faced my Edward. He was standing in the same place that I’d left him, looking completely sinful, and ripe for the picking. It was getting harder and harder for me to control my outwardly expressions because he was just so damn sexy. There was something very attractive about the way his confidence shone through his vulnerability. I mean, I could see that he was uncomfortable with being nude in front of a bi-sexual male, but he held his head up high and kept his eyes on me.
Naturally, I was impressed.
“Now, that I have your attention. I want you to verify your love to me…can you do that, my pet?” I inquired in a seductive tone, knowing full well that he would never deny me.
“Yes, Mistress,” he answered, gulping back his nervousness.
Gazing down, I noticed that the belt was locked in place and I knew for what I had planned that it was going to have to be removed. Reaching into my corset and in between my cleavage, I pulled out the key to his chastity. He looked at me with reservations as I bent down at the knees in front of him, but the moment I grasped a hold of him in my hand and unlocked him from his belt, I could see that the fog was lifting.
He let out a relieved sigh as he glanced down at me and whispered. “Thank you, Mistress.”
“Don’t thank me, yet,” I replied mischievously.
He really has no idea what I have in store for him.
Rising to my feet, I smiled as I paced the room and feeling completely in control of every aspect of these two subs. The adrenaline was rushing through me as I taunted them with my crop, slapping them on the chest as I passed.
“This worthless slave was very curious about you, my pet,” I said, officially commencing our playtime, and just like that I was in full Domme mode. “He was hoping that you were a Dominant like me. He wanted a gorgeous male specimen, such as you, to discipline him,” I stated, stopping in the middle of the room.
The conversation that I had briefly with Mr. Harrison came to my mind at that moment. I remembered how fascinated he was with Edward. The lustful look in his eyes when he was asking about the gorgeous man in my lounge and that wasn’t something I could just ignore. Even though I didn’t know what part I he would play at the time, I did know that I wanted to make one point clear…
I directed my penetrating gaze at him and seethed through my clenched teeth. “When I told him you were my sub, he still wanted you. Well, I don’t like to share my property, and besides, he wouldn’t know the first thing about being a Dom, would you pig?!”
“No, Mistress. I am weak,” he yapped like a defenseless dog.
“See what I mean? Pathetic,” I sighed loudly, shaking my head. “Although I am greedy, it doesn’t mean that I’m not willing to dangle what I have in front of you, slave,” I paused, glancing over at Edward. He was smirking at me, clearly pleased with the way I berated my slave. I narrowed my eyes at him severely. “Sit down.”
He ran his hand through his unkempt bronze hair as he searched in vain for a seat. Luckily, he located the chair that was placed conveniently behind him and eventually sat down. He looked back up at me, waiting for my next command.
“I want you to submit to me, right here and right now. Is that clear?” I asked firmly, taking a step towards him and closing the unbearable distance.
“Yes, Mistress. I want to submit to you,” he replied earnestly.
The way he spoke his eagerness to please me, no matter what it was, aroused me. The pit of my stomach was knotting and I bit down on my bottom lip, fighting back the whimper that wanted to escape me. I reached up and caressed my collar bone to relieve some of my sexual tension, and also knowing damn well what that did to him.
I was an evil bitch and I was on my way to solidify myself as the devil.
“I want you to masturbate,” I said in an innocent voice.
His eyes widen at the words and I watched him with abated breath, realizing fully that this request would be the one to make it or break it. It was an evil thing to do to him, but this was the only way I was to know how serious he was about being my submissive. If I was going to give my all to him, I had to know that he was willing to do the same.
“Yes, Mistress.” He nodded as he took a deep breath and grabbed a hold of his penis.
His movements were slow and lagging at first, and I could see that he was nervous as he glanced between Mr. Harrison and me. The smirk never left my face because I was enjoying myself immensely. It was a sickness in my brain to get off on someone elses humiliation, and I often sought out ways to make Edward squirm…well, not just him. I did it to all of my subs.
I mean, there was a reason I sent all of my submissives to Jacob to get their balls waxed and it wasn’t because he was the best waxer in Chicago…even though he really was.
As I stared intently at Edward, watching him struggle to get his penis roused, I realized that he passed my test with flying colors and that he didn’t need to prove anything to me anymore, but something deep inside me couldn’t summon up the will to stop him.
Perhaps it was my own sadistic desires to see him masturbate in front of a diverse crowd or it could’ve been because this was the first I allowed him to touch himself in a week and I figured I owed him a bit of a release—that was if he could get the damn thing up.
The poor guy was getting nowhere fast and he spent the better half of the two minutes stroking his flaccid penis. There was perspiration dripping down his brow as he bunched up his face in concentration. In a way, I felt bad for him…
However, things began to shift and in came the changing of the tide.
Edward closed his eyes and slouched down in the chair. I could see the muscles in his forearm pop out as he gripped himself even tighter, making circular motions with his wrist. The fury pace that he began set as he stroked himself with was hitting me down below. My breathing hitched as I took a few stumbling steps backwards until my back was pressed up against one of my benches in the far corner, officially halting me.
No matter how hard I tried to look away, I couldn’t take my eyes off his graceful ministrations. The quick and long caress of his hand was enrapturing me, and I felt my arousal soaking through my panties. It’d been a long time since I felt this strongly about a man, let alone a sub, and I tried to convince myself that it was only because he was this unbelievably good looking guy, but I knew better.
It went deeper than that and it always did.
When Edward’s dark emerald greens landed on mine from across the room, I believe I lost all my sense of composure. His intense gaze roamed over my body as he touched himself and I gripped a hold of my crop, needing to transfer the energy over to something tangible.
 I was on the verge of exploding.
The man had this indisputable way of eliciting a reaction out of me. It didn’t matter if it was just a cocky smirk of his when he think he’s gotten the upper hand or the bashful guilt he has when he’s done something wrong, or even the come hither and bend me over and fuck me, eyes he gives me whenever I walk into a room.
Even the taste of him was always in the forefront of mind as I relived all those spontaneous, and wholly unauthorized, kisses he’d given me. At the time, I acted appalled by his overzealous behavior as I pushed him further away from me, but in truth, it was the exact opposite. The strength of his lips was powerful force as his tongue always coaxed its way into my mouth, yearning to intermingle with mine.
It was so frustrating that he made me feel this way because I didn’t want to be attracted him. In my perfect world, I was content on being alone for a while, and I sure as hell didn’t need all this extra distraction.
He was a nuisance in my life…
Shit!
All of it was bullshit! Everything that I’d been telling myself from day one was a fucking lie. All these challenges and test weren’t for him. They were for me. It was my feelings that I didn’t trust. It was the persistence that he showed that scared me because I didn’t want to believe him. I didn’t want to believe me.
I refused to come to terms with any of it because if I did, I would lose the power that I sought. Things would change and I wouldn’t be the same. I already lost some of who I was with James. I couldn’t afford to lose anymore.
The only problem with that twisted logic was that Edward was far from more elite than James was as a man and definitely as a sub. The way his eyes blazed with such intensity and fiery passion was something I hadn’t seen before. It was why I wouldn’t allow myself to fully trust it…but despite all these nagging doubts of mine, I still couldn’t deny his unrelenting devotion, my desire, his endless hope, or my need.
The whole dungeon faded away and all I could see was him. My eyes roamed over his chest, relishing in the memory of when I turned it a deep cherry color. The flush of his skin as he masturbated in front of me was highly erotic, and regardless if Mr. Harrison was there; it was still an intimate moment. Nothing else ceased to exist because it was just him and me in that room.
The more I witnessed him take himself in his hand and submit to me, the more I was completely turned on. My breathing was very erratic and I could feel the hotness of my skin…I was panting uncontrollably.
“Shit,” Edward hissed as his motions quickened.
He suddenly snapped his eyes closed, releasing me from the spell, and I saw that his whole body was tense. It didn’t take a genius to figure out that he was close to coming. That was the last thing I wanted him to do and it wasn’t because I didn’t think he deserved it, in fact, I knew he did. I just wanted to be the only one who witnessed it…
It was not the role I had in mind for Mr. Harrison.
Rushing over to him and squeezing my body in between his legs, I tapped my toy against his drenched skin. “Okay, Edward,” I leaned down and whispered into his ear. “That’s enough.”
A small smile formed on his lips as he continued to pump himself vigorously. It was the complete opposite of what I wanted and I knew the jackass was going to come all over my couture fishnet stockings if he didn’t stop.
“I said that’s enough,” I barked as I whacked him harder on his inner thigh with my crop. I bend over top of him in an intimate manner, placing my hand over his, and feeling the warmth of his continued friction. He stilled his movements, glancing up at me with wanting eyes. I smiled at him and murmured seductively. “You did very well, my pet, but your release is mine and mine alone.”
Like I said, I hated having to share.
~K~