It was such a double-edge sword because on one aspect, I wanted to tell her everything. I needed someone to vent to about my problems—someone who could possibly understand my fucking struggles and help me through them, but I couldn’t get past that nagging fear of rejection. I didn’t want my Mistress—I didn’t want Bella—to see me in such a poor light. As this fucking weak and pathetic man who didn’t have the courage to stand up to his family or friends and profess the truth of his love for the BDSM lifestyle…regardless of the consequences and where it led him.
Even though I was her sub and will be until the day that she cast me away, I also needed her to see me as more than that. I wanted her to see me as a man that she could one day, possibly, consider being with.
In the end, I wanted Bella to know me more than anything and that need took precedence over my pride.

Edward Cullen ~ Chapter Twenty One




Saturday, July 30, 2011

Chapter Twenty Six Teaser

 ~Around and Around We GO~



Bella led me upstairs towards her room, and as I stared at her swaying ass in front of me, I wondered what she was planning. When we were down in the living room, the tone of her voice and the way she grabbed me had led me to believe that she had some naughty things on her mind, but when she overshot her bed and took me straight to her closet instead, I was a little disappointed...albeit confused.

Keeping quiet, I watched as she reached in behind some of her hanging cloths and pulled out a little step ladder. She then brought it to the other side of her walk-in and unfolded it. After she positioned the ladder where she wanted it, I looked up and saw where her main focus lied.

There in the far right of her closet were countless shoeboxes, stacked high to the ceilings, and what seemed like a chaotic system to me was, somehow, oddly uniformed.

The questions were now just rolling through my mind at an endless succession and planting themselves on my tongue…

What is she doing?

Bella gave me a sideways glance as she climbed to the top step and reached up to one of the plentiful boxes. She looked unsteady as she raised herself to her tippy toes, and I was suddenly overcome with panic as I imagined her losing her balance and crashing to the floor. So, I walked over to her, casually, and situated myself directly under her…just in case she fell.

Finally after a few worrisome minutes, Bella obtained what she was looking for and pulled down a large Steve Madden shoebox.

“Here, take this,” she said as she handed the box to me.

The weight of it was slightly heavy, and I could only imagine what sort of hidden secrets were stored in there…Well, that was if they were secrets at all. Hell, for all I knew, this box could be filled with cuffs and vibrating dildos.

However, the way she was looking at me, all nervous and uneasy like, I had a feeling that it was something else entirely.

“What is this?” I asked, curious.

“It's everything you asked for, Edward," she replied somberly. “It’s the good and the bad.”

“Should I be scared?” I joked to ease the tension.

“I don’t know,” she said cocking her eyebrow at me. “Do you scare easily?”

I shook my head. “Not usually.”

“I think you just open it and find out,” she said encouragingly.

“Okay,” I said as I flicked the top of the box off with my thumb.

As I stared down at the inner contents, I realized that I wasn’t going to get time in the playroom like I originally hoped; instead I was going to get something far more lasting…

I was getting her.