Chapter Four
~No Longer a Figment of the Imagination~
Jasper was standing a few feet away from me with his hands shoved into his pockets. He was wearing a black hoodie and it was covering most of his face. His eyes were drooping from lack of sleep, looking like he was going to rob the place. He took a step towards the counter and in a really low voice answered me, but kept his gaze locked on the young female behind the counter, "Just a Caramel Macchiato."
The girl was cute but looked a little young. The blond hair that she wore into a side ponytail would've caught my eye in the past, but now I found that I lacked interest. However, Jasper was very interested as he gave her a small wink in a flirtatious manner, causing the barista to blush. It was barely past seven twenty in the morning and Jasper still brought his game.
I narrowed my eyes at him incredulously before turning back to the barista, "That should be all."
She told me the total and I handed her a ten, telling her to keep the change. However, she never once acknowledged what I'd said because she only had eyes for Jasper as we walked to one of the available tables. Of course, he flirted and waved at her the whole time, and I couldn't hide my amusement.
Was I that obvious when I flirted with girls?
It was almost embarrassing to watch, especially when Jasper dipped his finger into the whip cream on the top of that flavored shit he drank. He reminded me of a two year old and not the suave guy he was aiming for. The flirting continued as I added my three sugars to my coffee and tried to pretend that this shit wasn't happening.
Jesus, the guy was worse than me…or how I used to be.
What? How I used to be? Fuck, this was starting to become a problem. I was losing sight of who I was and for what? Just because I lusted after someone I didn't even know? This was why I needed to talk to someone, it was either Jasper, or a therapist, and I didn't want to hand over that bill to my parents. The questions that would most likely follow were already giving me a headache.
I didn't make much money on my own and my inheritance wasn't available to me until I was twenty five.
So, that was why I was sitting there with Jasper as the silence between us grew. We were seated for a few minutes before he shot his all knowing eyes up at me. He raised his eyebrow at me expectantly, just waiting for me to get to the point. He knew something was up because it was early Monday morning and I asked him to join me for coffee. It was a rare thing for me to do and he knew that. When we were on the phone, he didn't ask me much about my reasons and I didn't really elaborate on them, either. I just wanted to get a few things off my chest, but I had no idea how I was going to articulate my thoughts.
I purposely chose this coffee shop to meet Jasper at because I was…obsessed, and it seemed as If I couldn't stay away, even if it was pointless. I mean, it wasn't like she was going to show up. It was only seven thirty in the morning and she didn't show up until at least ten thirty the last time.
She never shows up…
"So," Jazz prompted, "are you going to tell me what we're doing here?"
"We're having coffee," I said like that point was obvious.
He rolled his eyes at me, "Level with me."
What the fuck did I want to tell him? After my imagination ran wild on Saturday night, I felt so confused. I wanted things back the way they were. I wanted my life back, where it was about two things: good grades and great sex. The way I obsessed over this woman was impeding on my sex life. The thing that went down with Jessica proved that, and then my whole pitching a tent show…fucking nightmare. It had me feeling like I'd lost sight of me, of whom I was, and the lack of control I felt was starting to piss me off. There was no way I was going to allow a woman to control me that way…I refused.
"I don't even know where to begin, Jazz," I stated, defeated.
He smiled smugly, "Does this have anything to do with brown eyes?"
My head shot up at him, almost knocking over my coffee, and he chuckled at my reaction. There was no way I was going to get out of this one now. I basically fucking outed myself in front of everyone the night of the party, and even though my courage was faltering, I couldn't deny it.
"It might," I answered noncommittally.
My half ass reply seemed to infuriate Jasper, because he shoved his whipped drink away from him as he started gathering his coat.
"You woke my ass up early for this little chat and now you don't want to be forthcoming with me?" he inquired angrily.
"You got that caramel shit, didn't you?" I spat.
I was little irritated with him for pushing me, but I think I was mostly pissed off at myself. He was the one person who knew me before all my bravado bullshit. He was there when all I wanted to do was my homework and read, while he and his buddies were playing the latest video game. He was also was the person who was there to pat me on the back when I lost my virginity, and get me wasted when I was so upset about Kate dumping me. He was more than a cousin to me; he was one of my best friends.
But he was also like everyone else in my life; he hated the way I jumped in and out of bed with women. He wasn't gung-ho to marry me off like Emmett was, but he did give me the disapproving eye from time to time.
"Edward, I really don't need this shit. Do you think I'm an idiot?" he asked furiously.
"No…of course I don't think you're an idiot. Will you please just sit down?" I asked in a hushed tone.
Jasper was standing over me in an aggressive stance, and it took him less than a second to calm down and take his seat. Many patrons were looking at us and I almost felt like they assumed we were having a lovers' quarrel.
God, fucking Bare Back Mountain…
"You know," he started quietly, "it really bothers me that you have so much going on in that brain of yours but you never put it to good use. I mean, you're so fucking brilliant. You're like a god damn child prodigy and the fact that you waste your time on these…girls…who have no idea what it takes to be a woman…it really is below you. I'm sorry. That's such a prick thing to say, but fuck, it just boggles the shit out of me."
He was right, and I knew he was right. Most of the females I surrounded myself with were hot, but that was as far as it went. They were often so consumed with the latest gossip, their manicures, and just over all kinds of frivolous shit. There was no substance between the hotness, and I was okay with that. It never occurred to me to look for more than that. It was all a game and one I was good at. It was easy. It kept me single. It kept the drama of any relationship at bay…and it was this life that I was trying to get back. It was what I understood, what made sense to me.
That was why Jasper's comment angered me. He was trying to take it away.
"You act like you don't do the same shit," I stated spitefully.
"No, my dear cousin, that's where you're wrong. You see, I'm a serial monogamist. You are just a man whore," he corrected.
"A man whore?" I questioned, insulted.
"Oh, I'm sorry. Did I say something that wasn't true? I mean, you sleep with whatever comes your way and you don't consider that to be a little whorish?" he asked mockingly.
He sat there with conviction, basically challenging me to come back at him. Jasper wasn't a moron by any means, and I knew exactly what he was doing. He was goading me into telling him the truth…which worked like a charm.
"Look, there is something going on with me and I don't know what it means. It has to do with a woman, but I don't know her, and I will likely never see her again…it's just…I can't get her out of my fucking head. Is that normal? Have you ever had that happen to you?" I asked hastily.
The words fell out of my mouth like word vomit and I was powerless to stop it. Jasper looked at me ambiguously, and a hell of a lot longer than I would've liked. The silence was maddening and I was close to losing my shit. If he didn't respond soon, I was going to recant everything I told him.
I would claim fucking insanity and I was pretty sure that anybody would believe me, too. Hell, I was convinced I was insane. No normal man obsesses the way I was over this woman I only met for a second. Sure, they would've pounded one out in her honor, but repeatedly stalking the place where the brief encounter took place was unlikely.
Only nut jobs with mommy issues did that.
"This woman is brown eyes, correct?" he asked verifying.
"Yes," I admitted.
He leaned across the small wooden table all conspiratorial, and I sat back in my seat. There was no way in hell I was going to lean into him as well. We would've looked like two gay guys about to make out, and I didn't need that rumor flying around campus.
We'd already had our lovers spat in public…
"What do you mean, you don't know her?" he asked.
I sighed as I ran my hand through my hair, "I saw her last week at this coffee shop. I asked for her number and she blew me off."
I kept my head down, because I didn't want to see his expression, or my expression to be perfectly honest. The fact that I was admitting my shortcomings out loud made me cringe.
It wasn't a proud moment for me.
"She turned you down?" Jasper asked, chuckling.
The guffawing that came out of his mouth made me look up. Jasper was looking away from me, but his shoulders were shaking…as if he was trying to keep his laughter from coming out.
He finds my misery amusing…
"Yeah, laugh it up, fucker," I hissed.
"Man, this woman is badass. I think I like her already," he mused.
It turned out that even confiding in someone such as Jasper was fruitless, because I was a joke to him. It seemed my past was catching up with me and all people saw me as this man whore. Well, okay, they had every right feel that way, but screw them. And screw Jasper! He practically coerced me into telling him, and how does he respond? He makes fun of me.
Some fucking friend—no, so much for fucking family.
"What? What did I say?" Jasper asked innocently when he saw I was leaving.
"Look, I called you here because I was confused, but you just treat me like some fucking punch line. So, thanks for that," I said bitterly.
"Oh come on, you have to see the humor in this. I mean, you never get turned down, dude, and the fact that this one woman who did has you all in a tizzy…its fucking karma," he said matter-of-factly.
"Karma?" I questioned gruffly. "You realize what karma means, right? It means that you get what you put out and didn't you just fucking say that I never turned down a bitch in my life?"
"Well, I didn't call them bitches," Jasper said sheepishly.
"No, you and Emmett call them skanks. Yeah, that term is far less degrading," I retorted furiously.
He chuckled at the word skanks and I shot him a cold glare. He then held up his hands as if to call a truce; I scoffed at the gesture.
"What do you want from me, Edward? What do you want me to say? That you're crazy and you need to go fuck anyone you can to forget about this woman? Well, I'm sorry, I won't do that. The truth of the matter is that I think you need to slow down with this promiscuous shit of yours and get focused. You think I don't know what you do? That I don't see you just sailing through life doing as little as possible?" he inquired seriously.
"I don't sail through life," I said feebly.
"The fuck you don't. You seem to forget that I was there with you growing up."
The conversation was turning into something that I didn't want to talk about, and even though I called him, I was starting to regret it. He was right, though. I wanted him to tell me to forget about her. The life that I was so desperate to get back was now starting to sound a little empty and sad.
My head was all sorts of fucked up and I was more confused than ever. All thanks to Jasper Whitlock…prick extraordinaire.
"Fine, I get it. I'm a fuck up and everyone knows it," I said in a low tone.
Once again, our conversation was getting heated, and it was causing the whole coffee shop to turn their attention towards Jasper and me.
However, I was too angry to give a shit.
He sighed with frustration, "You're not a fuck up, E. We just see you doing more with your life."
Did he just fucking say we? I didn't even have to ask, I knew who he was referring to, and they were my overly bearing parents. It didn't surprise me in the least, but it did make my anger reach a whole new level. How like him to go rushing off to them to talk about me, the fuck up, the one who could do so much with his life, but doesn't.
It was unbelievable…
"Yeah, I'm sure you guys talk about the shit all the time behind my back. So what, Jazz? What did you assholes discuss? Did you guys figure out my life ambitions over Crème Brule? Did you all decide that I was to follow into my father's footsteps and become a doctor?" I asked resentfully.
"What? No, Edward. That was not who I meant?" Jasper defended.
"Who did you mean then?" I questioned harshly.
He shook his head, not really sure how to answer me, and I was done talking. At this point, I would've fared better if I would've talked to Emmett; at least with him he would've encouraged me to find her. Shit, he probably would've offered to help in the search because he wanted to see me committed to someone. Jasper was too busy telling me who I could be instead of actually listening to what I was telling him. The potential speech was wearing thin and I didn't want to hear it anymore.
It was bad enough I had my father lecturing me all the time about what career path I should to take.
"Listen, I gotta go, Jazz," I said curtly.
"What, so that's it?" he asked, shocked.
I shrugged, "What do you want me to say? You aired your grievances, but now I have to leave. It's almost eight and I don't want to be late for class."
"That's bullshit. I said some things that you couldn't handle and now you're shutting me out," he said, speculating.
I sighed as I pinched the bridge of my nose in frustration, "Look, I don't want to be an asshole to you, especially after you came out all this way, but I don't see this conversation going anywhere positive, and for our friendship, I think we should just stop."
"Okay," he replied simply.
"Thanks, man," I said gratefully as I reached out and shook his hand.
"Anytime, Edward…I mean that," he said in a sober tone.
"Yup." I nodded as I moved around him to leave.
As I waved goodbye to Jasper, I shoved the front door open, and walked out into the frigid air. The chill hit me right away and I folded my arms over my chest to keep warm as I headed towards the campus. The streets were covered with a light dust of snow and I shuffled my feet through, leaving a path in my wake.
It was barely December and we were having one of the coldest winters in the history of Chicago. It was rough on me because I hated the cold. Even though I'd grown up here my whole life, I had yet to get used to it, and I doubted I ever would. It was nasty and I detested the way my body would ache from it. Even walking the short distance to the campus had already frozen half my face off.
I needed to move…
My plans after graduation were to move to a far warmer climate.
In fact, I had my eyes set on a state.
Some of my old friends from high school had moved to Arizona to attend ASU, and they were constantly raving about the dry heat there. Just yesterday, one of those assholes text me to fucking brag about their eighty-three degree weather, while I was here suffering and freezing my nuts off. If it wasn't for my mother going all spastic on me about moving, I would be there at this very moment.
After I graduated, she wouldn't be able to stop me and I had a place to live already set up. My parent's assumed that I was going to find an architect job in Chicago and live by them for the rest of my life. However, I wasn't going to let that happen. It wasn't like I hated my parents. In fact I adored them. It was just I needed to be away from them to spread my wings. They had high expectations for me and I didn't know if I would ever be able to meet them.
Shit, it wasn't even about that. I mean, I always planned on moving away from Chicago.
It was all just matter of when…and I prayed it was soon.
The fucking weather was killing me. I mean, by the time I reached the science building, my fingers were already frozen, and my coffee was useless. Throwing it into the trash, I rushed to the door, thrusting it open, and letting the warmth thaw me. Thank god all the classes were inside and I could wait in a heated hallway.
I didn't want to be a fucking icicle.
Pulling out my architectural science textbook and placing it beside me, I grabbed my notebook and started to review for today's test. It was a few weeks before winter break and the whole school was in finals mode. It was such hell during this time, and if this shit didn't come naturally to me, I knew I would've been feeling the pressure as well.
My parent's always bragged about my intelligence and told me when I was four months old I said my first word…soap. My mom always seemed little hurt that my first word wasn't mama, but I joked that I had a thing for clean hygiene.
She didn't find the humor in that one…
Throughout my whole school career I'd excelled pretty quickly. When I was in second grade they tried to skip me a few grades, like I was Doogie Howser or some shit, but I refused and balled my eyes out. Apparently, I didn't want to leave Jasper and my friends. My parents relented and allowed me to stay behind, which was a little uncommon. And schools really did whatever the hell they wanted, but money had weight…my parents were loaded with it.
So, I was left to stay the three grades behind with my friends, but the downside was that I knew everything and became bored—no, I became lazy.
Fuck, was I ever lazy. It was quite problematic and often I would slack, get a less than stellar grade on a test just because I didn't care, because I knew I would make it up later. I was always on the brink. Jasper was so right about me and the potential I had to be better was there, but my lack of giving a shit was missing. I was trying to breeze through college. Do as little as possible.
It was obvious to me right then that I was the one who was disappointed in my behavior. All this time I thought I was living the life, that I was making something of myself, but I was wrong. God, if my parent's truly knew me, I was sure they would be unhappy with the way I coasted through life.
Would they look at me the way Jasper's looked at me?
How all my friends looked at me?
How I looked at me?
~~~888~~~888~~~888~~~
Why the fuck I'm here again?
All morning, I promised myself that I would not come here. Even told myself over and over again that I was far too busy, and the shit was becoming ridiculous. The distractions that I tried to force upon myself were a waste of time. Why was I still thinking that screwing women would fix the problem?
The conversation with Jasper didn't help me in the slightest; in fact, it left me feeling even more confused. He didn't give me the answers I craved. He told me to stop fucking, get my life straight, and become who everyone wanted me to be, which at this juncture, I wasn't sure who that was. And all I knew was that I needed to forget about the coffee shop girl and our ten thirty date.
Perhaps, that was why I sought out Lauren after my physics class, hoping she could quench this fire that raged within me. The fact that I didn't have to search very long was comforting. As soon as I exited the science department building, I saw her standing, soaking up the unusual sun, in the middle of the student common area. My plan was set and operation to forget was put into motion.
I didn't even have to say shit to her, either. She was more than happy to oblige me when I grabbed her by the waist and attacked her with my crazed lips. She wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me into her groin, causing the friction I'd been missing for a week. It was raw, forceful, and desperate.
It was so simple.
It was so easy.
It was so fucking empty…
What made matters worse was that my intentions were futile. This little impromptu make-out session with Lauren was for nothing because no matter how hard I tried to concentrate on Lauren's lips and the way her tongue tasted like peppermint, I couldn't dispel brown eyes completely. She was there…in the back of mind…taunting me.
What was sad was that I enjoyed my visions and it made kissing Lauren easier—fuck!
No, it made me…hopeful? At one point I thought I would forget about stalking the coffee shop and perhaps I could stay with Lauren, but all that changed when the alarm on my phone went off just as I was whispering empty promises into her ear. It stilled me damn near immediately and I knew what that alarm meant for me and my sanity. It was alerting me that it was indeed ten twenty and I had only ten minutes to get my ass down to the coffee shop.
That was the ultimate test for me, because it would show where my true priorities lay. I could choose to ignore it and continue to shove my tongue down Lauren's throat, or I could follow the path of disaster, and keep my date with…
Fuck! I knew where it was going and truth be told was that I could've ignored it. I should've ignored it.
Why didn't I fucking ignore it?
So, what did I do? I made up some lame excuse about meeting my parents before I ditched Lauren, standing breathless, heated, and aroused. She was ripe for the picking, but no. I was my own personal cock blocker, and I had to keep my date with a figment of my imagination. At this point, I wasn't entirely convinced that she was even real. She was just this beautiful, brown haired goddess who'd invaded my thoughts and my dreams.
I needed to forget about her.
I needed to move on.
But wants and needs are two different things, and what I wanted far outweighed anything else, because I was a selfish creature and I wanted to have her. That was why I was sitting in the coffee shop, sexually frustrated, and looking like some lonely creeper, but knowing this…I couldn't stop. The fact of the matter was that above anything else, I was a about keeping a set routine…no matter how unhealthy said routine may be.
The whole thing was becoming habit forming for me, and at precisely ten thirty, I would order myself a coffee—sometimes a tea, but generally just coffee. I would take a seat towards the middle of the coffee shop, but close enough to the window so I could examine passerby's faces as well.
Every day was never changing. It was always the same thing. I would leave completely disappointed and angry at myself for doing that shit again. It was addictive and I didn't know how to stop. I didn't know how long I would keep this routine up and that scared me.
Would I be doing this shit for the rest of my pathetic life?
~~~888~~~888~~~888~~~
"Fuck! Move that piece of shit of yours!" I hollered at the idiot in front of me.
My last class had kept me behind to discuss the final essay, although I was more convinced that Mrs. Cope kept me after so she could try to feel my junk again. She did this constantly because of that one time that I was a dick and toyed with her emotions. She had given me an F on one of my exams, and she wouldn't let me make it up. It would've ruined my GPA, and even though I was lazy, I refused to accept anything less than a four point-oh average. So, I flirted, I conned, I did what I could—apart from sleeping with the hag—to change her mind.
I wasn't proud of it and have regretted it ever since.
Now, that little fiasco of mine had me stuck in rush hour traffic. Fuck, the way things were looking, I was going to be late picking up my brothers. It was already three fifteen and I was another thirty minutes away. My parents were going to kill me. Which, I didn't blame them. My brothers were my buddies and even though I acted like they were an annoyance to me in front of my mom, I couldn't deny that the little guys were badass.
But none of that mattered if I didn't get there on time, though. I was pretty sure I would go down as the world's worst older brother and I didn't want that.
"Fuck," I growled loudly as I banged my fist on the steering wheel.
We were all at a dead stop and only moving a few inches every few minutes. Bumper to bumper traffic was always a pain in the ass, but now it was just grating on my nerves, and I was about to go fucking postal. The only thing that was going to calm me down was a cigarette. As I reached for the pack, I realized that it was empty.
God dammit!
Taking a quick glance at the clock on the dash, I saw that I had less than ten minutes to get there…
"Shit!" I hissed.
This is not good…this is not good!
Driving frantically into the parking lot at St. Matthews Catholic Elementary, I took a furtive glance at the time and saw that I was ten minutes late. It was long enough to be considered late but not long enough to be considered a piss poor brother, which at the moment, I felt like.
Thankfully, the traffic had cleared and I drove like a mad man all the way here. The countless traffic laws I broke were mounting and I was lucky I didn't get pulled over.
Jumping out of my car, I pressed the lock button over my shoulder as I sprinted up the stairs towards the main entrance. It looked as though most of the students had already emptied out. It didn't taking me long as I jogged down the hall to find my brothers sitting on a bench in the hallway. They both were chatting with their teacher as she held the overnight bag in her hand.
"Sorry," I panted as I skidded to a stop. "Traffic was just fu…it was awful."
"Edward!" the boys shouted in unison as they jumped off the bench and rushing me.
The little guys were strong and damn near knocked the wind out of me; luckily I was able to catch myself before I fell on my ass.
"Hey, losers," I said happily as I pulled them into a hug.
"Guess what?" Anthony said in an excited tone.
"What's that buddy?" I asked as I tousled his striking blond hair.
"Mom said that we get to spend the night with you," Masen interrupted.
Anthony glared at Masen as he pushed him away, "I wanted to tell him!"
"You always get to tell people," Masen shouted as he pushed his brother back.
"That's because I'm older, stupid!" Anthony spat.
The little guys were getting out of hand and I could tell that their teacher was a little exasperated as she reached down, pulling Anthony by the arm, and away from Masen. I looked up at her and saw that she was pissed. She was an older lady, I would say in her fifties, but time was cruel on her. It didn't help that she wore her hair in a big bun on top of her head.
"Mr. Cullen," she said icily.
I stood up quickly, feeling like I was in primary school again. She stared at me skeptically, narrowing her ice blue eyes at me as she shoved the bag into my chest. It was forceful, aggressive, and it really fucking hurt. Whatever I did really seemed to upset her, and I was trying to figure out if it was because I was late or if it was because I allowed the boys to fight.
At this point, it was a tossup.
"Sorry, I was late," I said trying to apologize again.
"If you're going to be picking up the boys regularly, I would appreciate you being here ten minutes before school is out," she said sternly.
"Oh, I'm not planning on picking them up every day. I'm just doing my mom a favor," I stated adamantly.
She nodded stiffly, "Well, at any rate, it's best to be here on time. My life is busy and I'm not a babysitter, you got that?" I nodded at her demands and just as quickly, she looked down at the twins and smiled softly. "Well, boys, remember to practice your ABC's, okay? We have a big test tomorrow."
"We will, Mrs. Banner," the boys sang.
She gave me one more disapproving look before she turned on her heel and walked away. The childish side of me wanted to flip her off, but I refrained. I didn't know what her problem was, but I was starting to feel grateful that my mom didn't send me to catholic school. I mean, if all the teachers were like her, I knew I would've been punished with lashings for running my mouth.
Wait, do they even do that?
"So, guys, are you hungry?" I asked suddenly.
They both nodded eagerly. I threw the duffel bag over my shoulder and held out my hands for them to grasp. As I turned to leave, something red caught my eye. Stopping me in my tracks, I turned to look down the hall at a young girl in a bright red sweater and that was when I saw her. It was mystery girl in the flesh and she was less than twenty feet from me.
Panic suddenly sank in when I realized that she was no longer a figment of my imagination. She was as real as my two brothers and god was she stunning. I gawked at her unabashedly as she talked with the girl in the red sweater. Her mahogany brown hair wasn't pulled back like it was last week, but instead lay in waves against her back. My eyes roamed over her body fiercely. The way she stood causally with the young girl, smiling with ease, and the simple affection she showed towards the girl as she placed her hands on the girl's shoulder, all were being ingrained into my brain because I didn't know if I would see her in the future. Although, seeing her now in detail, I realized how deluded I was Saturday night because having her so close to me now it quite obvious that my hallucinations weren't that generous.
Still, I had to know for sure.
"Hey, Mace, buddy," I said as I got down to his level without ever taking my eyes off her.
"What's up, poop face?" he asked, giggling.
"Who…is that?" I asked as I nodded my head in her direction.
It was like my eyes refused to leave her. It wasn't until both the boys started giggling that I begrudgingly took my eyes off her. When I looked at the boys, I noticed that they were smiling all deviously and their faces were a bright tomato red.
"What?" I asked, confused.
"That's Miss Swan," Anthony whispered.
"She's really pretty," Masen finished in even a lower voice.
The twins had some good taste just like their older brother, and as I glanced back at Miss Swan, I wished I had more teachers like her when I was going to school—except, what if she wasn't a teacher. Not that it made any difference; I just needed to know more about her. The enigma was slowly revealing itself, and who would've thought it would come from two five year olds.
"So, she's a teacher here?" I asked and they both nodded.
Standing up, I took both boys back over to the bench; I had them sit down, and dropped their duffel bag down beside them. Suddenly, I was feeling paranoid that she was going to disappear on me again; I took a quick glance in her direction, and exhaled when I saw that she was still talking to that student. When I faced the twins again, they were both looking up at me a little confused.
"Listen, do you think you guys can behave for just a minute while I go talk to Miss Swan real quick?" I asked.
"You like her!" Masen blurted out loudly.
His voice managed to echo through the hall and I feared that his loud mouth would've reached her ears, but luckily, his slip went unnoticed.
"Mace," I reprimanded. He cowered away from me slightly as his eyes shifted towards the floor. I softened my tone. "Now, I just need to go ask her something and I need you guys to behave. Can you do that for me?"
"Yes," they said.
"It's going to be just one minute, okay?" I repeated for extra measure.
The boys stared at me with wide green eyes as they nodded to my instructions. They were good kids and they always seemed to listen to me, so I knew that they would do as I said and behave. It wasn't like I was going to be far away from them anyways. I just needed to talk to her. The obsession that I'd been experiencing was reaching its breaking point and I needed a reprieve.
I had to find out what made her so unique to me…
This was the second chance that I'd been hoping for. I figured if I just talked to her, get a feel for her, and hopefully see that she wasn't so special after all. Fuck, I need to get whatever she had over me out of my system.
Oddly enough, I didn't even care if I banged her anymore; I just had to know what it was. Why she invaded my thoughts…
The twins watched me as I made my approach towards her, and as I got closer I really saw how breathtakingly beautiful she was; this was not good news because secretly I hoped that she wasn't what I thought. That maybe by the grace of god she was repulsive and that I imagined her beauty, but fuck me if my imagination didn't do her justice.
She was a lot smaller than I remembered, but she wasn't skinny by any means. She was wearing a tight black pencil skirt that showed off her womanly curves. The heels that she wore were not high, pretty basic, but somehow they made her look so fucking sexy. The white blouse that she was wearing was buttoned all the way up to the neck and I craved to rip it off her…
Okay, so maybe I lied, I still wanted to ravage her.
The moment the little girl walked away from Miss Swan, I was standing just mere feet from her. She didn't notice me at first, and I closed my eyes as I inhaled her overwhelming fragrance. It was a stupid thing to do considering when I opened my eyes she was looking at me with a confused and slightly appalled expression.
"Can I help you?" she asked coldly.
This was my time to redeem myself, but it seemed as though I was being the nervous bitch again. It was hard to focus on anything. My eyes kept looking at her lips as she waited for me to answer her. They were the most beautiful lips, full, pouty, and a deep, burgundy red.
So, that being said, I ended up saying whatever crossed my mind…not smart.
"Hi, don't you remember me?" I asked, nervously.
She narrowed her eyes at me, "Not particularly, no."
"Well, um we sort of met at the coffee shop last week. We bumped into each other. It was really busy that day and I was going to the restroom, but the line was backed up. I asked for you're for number and you kind of shot me down," I rambled.
Shut the fuck up! I inwardly cascaded myself.
Even though my ramblings had made me look insane and pathetic, I'd hoped that it would have jogged her memory. She cocked her head to the side as she studied my face and I could see her brain working as she tried to place me. It broke me to know that to her I was not memorable. I mean to know that all the days that I spent pining over her and dreaming of her face, that in the end, I never even mattered to her.
"You don't remember," I said dejectedly.
It was so pitiful that I couldn't even keep the sadness out of my voice, and as she shook her head marginally at me, I felt my face fall. It was such a strange thing for me to experience, the fact I cared so much whether this woman remembered me or not, was unlike me. It was so idiotic to be so consumed with her the way I was, because I didn't know her. It was such a small moment in time; of course she didn't remember me.
So, why did it feel like my whole world had been destroyed?
"That sucks," I muttered under my breath, completely deflated.
It was the reprieve I wanted—no, needed. It was time for me to finally give up and claim defeat. The hope that I had was squashed, and now all I wanted to do was go have a smoke…or maybe go jump off some a high and jagged cliff.
"Well…" I trailed off as I turned to leave.
"Lavatories."
That one word had reeled me back, stopping me still, and as I looked at her, I saw that her deep brown eyes had softened considerably. She was so gorgeous, and it took everything I had to not kiss her, but seeing as how I just got her to remember me, I didn't think that it would go over too well. We weren't even up to bat yet, and I was already desperate to round the bases with her.
"Yeah, I was looking for the lavatories," I said eagerly and fucking elated that she remembered me.
"So, did you find your way that day?" she inquired with a heartbreaking smile.
I was momentary distracted as I watched her pink tongue dart out and lick her lips. Shit…I'm jealous of her tongue—no! I'm jealous of her lips.
"Um, I did," I managed to say. "Thanks to you…my name's Edward."
I held out my hand for her to shake and she looked at it skeptically, like she wasn't sure, or perhaps I was trying to trick her in some way. Finally, she placed her small hand into mine and like before at the coffee shop, a small electrical current shot through me, and I pulled away quickly.
My eyes searched her face, looking for any indication that she felt that shock, but she never showed any signs that she did.
She was as cool as a cucumber…
"It's really nice to meet you, Edward. My name is Miss Swan. I'm an art teacher here," she said formally.
The fact that she made it a point to inform me that she was a teacher didn't go unnoticed by me. She tried to pull it off like that piece of information was a leap forward with her, but her tone and demeanor told me otherwise. She was holding back from me…
Did she feel the electrical spark as well?
"You don't have a first name I can call you by?" I asked playfully.
It was a way for me to test the waters with her. How far would she allow me to push her? The response I got was a little unexpected, and the cold glare she shot in my direction had taken me by complete surprise. It was such a severe gaze and it intimidated me. I'd never had a woman cause such a reaction in me. It made me want to be… compliant? There was no other way to describe it, even though it didn't seem to fit. It was such a strange notion because I was the rebel, the asshole who did what he wanted, when he wanted.
She was this tiny little woman…who could probably kick my ass.
"I think under the circumstances that calling me Miss Swan is more appropriate," she said sternly.
I was confused by her meaning and when she glanced down the hallway at my brothers, I caught on very quickly. She was in full teacher mode and she expected me to treat her as such, except there was only one problem with that…
"I'm not a student," I replied dumbly.
She smirked, "I didn't think you were."
God, she was sexy. It was small gesture, but the way she bit down on her bottom lip before glancing away from me, was all it took for me. My mind and body reacted immediately to her, and I prayed that she didn't notice that I was getting aroused. It was not the place for it and my brothers were less than thirty feet away, but I couldn't help it. She was a siren, an insanely gorgeous woman, and the way she looked at me from under her eye lashes.
Is that sign?
It was the little clue that I was looking for, the one thing that would tell me that she was attracted to me. It was the same look that I'd seen many times in the faces of my countless conquests.
It gave me the confidence boost that I needed.
"I would really like to take you out," I said seductively.
Her eyes widened at my abrasiveness, and for a split second, I thought she was going to bite, but she closed her eyes and shook her head. When she reopened them, I saw the fierceness behind those deep orbs of hers, and before I could argue, she put her game face back on.
"I don't date student's family members. It's not ethical," she stated coolly.
"None of my family members attend this school," I lied…obviously.
"Really? So do you mind telling me who those two precocious gentlemen are?" she questioned as she pointed towards Anthony and Masen.
Both of whom were now standing up from the bench and watching us with curious eyes. Those little bastards were only going to get an hour on Emmett's XBOX, instead of the three hours I had originally planned.
I shook my head adamantly, "Yeah, I don't know them."
"Is that a fact?" she asked suspiciously and I nodded. "So, you would rather me believe that a young man, such as yourself, is just randomly up at an elementary school? No kids to pick up? You're just here?"
"Yes," I answered tensely.
"Should I alert the police?" she asked half seriously.
"No," I nearly shouted.
"So, let's try this again. Are those two boys yours?"
"They're my baby brothers," I admitted.
It was hard to look away from her, and even though I could feel her turning me down again, I couldn't find it in me to care. Well, I cared, but I didn't believe her. Because I saw it in her eyes, it was the way she looked at me, pleading with me. I was positive that she was attracted to me, and for some odd reason, she was using excuses to turn me away.
It frustrated the hell out of me, but it made her…interesting. I wanted to know more about her and that was a first. She seemed independent and ferocious. It was hard for me not to want her. She was unlike any other girl—no, woman I've ever encountered.
"So, I'm sorry, Edward. I can't date you," she said smugly as she turned to leave.
As she turned her back to me, I decided that this time I wasn't going to let her escape me so easily. If I thought I was obsessed with her before, it was now reaching an overwhelming height. Without thinking, I reached out and grabbed her upper arm. She stilled instantly and I smiled because I knew I had her.
I leaned in close and whispered into her ear, "I would really like to take you out and if you think I'm going to go away easily, I've got to tell you…I can be very, very persistent."
The act itself had crossed an invisible line, and to some, what I did could be considered harassment, but I had to touch her again. The logical part of my brain went straight out the window the moment she came into my life. Unfortunately, the white blouse was long sleeve, and sadly I didn't have the skin to skin contact I craved, but somehow, it was enough.
She took her right hand and placed it over my mine. The feeling was amazing, and I almost thought she was encouraging me. That was until she dug her fingernails into my skin, and peeled my hand away from her arm. She turned around and faced me again. The intense look was back, but I also saw lust.
Holyshit! Did I just turn her on?
"Edward, do you mean what you say about this persistence?" she asked coyly.
"You better believe it," I replied, low and thick.
She took a step towards me, dangerously and overwhelmingly close…fucking knocking the wind out of me. My eyes raked over her flawless face and I saw that she had tiny little freckles on her nose. It was strange, but it made her so much hotter to me. Her skin was pale, but it wasn't pasty. It was smooth and creamy, and I wondered what she tasted like.
Coconut and vanilla…
"Well, let's see who cracks first, shall we," she said as she blew her sweet scent across my face.
"Okay," I croaked
She smiled as she turned towards the twins, "You better leave. Those boys look pretty hungry."
Just like that, any confidence or slick moves I thought I had were gone. Like a minx, she'd upped her game and left me feeling useless. There was something about her and I couldn't quite put my finger on it. I mean, she left me in the fucking hall dumbfounded by her words, and I found it hard to get my bearings. She was sexy as hell and knew how to take control of a conversation.
For the first time, I was speechless—well, scratch that. She always left me speechless.
As I turned to leave to rejoin my brothers, a soft hand reached out and grasped my forearm. I looked down and saw that my brown eyed beauty was there again.
"By the way, persistent Edward, my name is Bella," she said quickly.
"Bella," I repeated quietly.
She gave me a wink as she pushed me away from her and towards the boys. It was the weirdest feeling and I had a difficult time moving my feet. My brain didn't want to cooperate with my limbs. It was as if they were swimming in the essence of coffee shop girl…now known as Bella. It was unreal how fucking gay I was becoming and thank god no one could hear my inner dialogue.
That shit would just be flat out embarrassing. There I was getting sprung over a woman I didn't even know. Fuck, but I want to know her. She had no idea the extent I would go to get her to give me one chance. It wasn't like I was asking her to move in with me. It was just one, measly, insignificant date…that was all.
What the hell am I doing?
"What were you and Miss Swan talking about?" Masen asked, suspiciously.
I narrowed my eyes at him, "Nun yah."
"What's nun yah?" Anthony asked.
"None yah business, fools," I hollered as I scooped them both in my arms.
They laughed wildly as I tried to tickle them. If it wasn't for these two guys I would've never come across Bella. It was because of them that I would see her every day. The plan was already forming in my head, and as I set them back down on their feet, grabbing the duffel bag, I decided to let them in on it as well.
"How would you guys like if I picked you up from school from now on?" I asked jovially.
The cheers I got from the twins were deafening, and I wondered briefly if Bella heard all of the commotion. Well, the boys were pretty damn loud and I'm pretty sure people twenty miles away heard their cheers.
As the boys and I left the school, I went over the conversation I had with her in detail. Finally, my mystery girl had been found and I was determined to dig deep to discover her secrets.
She had no idea how persistent I could actually be…
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