It was such a double-edge sword because on one aspect, I wanted to tell her everything. I needed someone to vent to about my problems—someone who could possibly understand my fucking struggles and help me through them, but I couldn’t get past that nagging fear of rejection. I didn’t want my Mistress—I didn’t want Bella—to see me in such a poor light. As this fucking weak and pathetic man who didn’t have the courage to stand up to his family or friends and profess the truth of his love for the BDSM lifestyle…regardless of the consequences and where it led him.
Even though I was her sub and will be until the day that she cast me away, I also needed her to see me as more than that. I wanted her to see me as a man that she could one day, possibly, consider being with.
In the end, I wanted Bella to know me more than anything and that need took precedence over my pride.

Edward Cullen ~ Chapter Twenty One




Friday, January 7, 2011

~Chapter Sixteen Teaser~



The sincerity in her voice and the pity behind her eyes as she looked back up at me made shit pretty fucking obvious. The bitter truth was that she wasn’t kidding. There was no elaborate plan to trick me. The reality of the situation was that Bella expected me to go in there with that old fucker!
Is she out of her mind?!
“Edward,” she spoke calmly and directly. “These things happen.”
I narrowed my eyes at her. “What things, Angela? What the fuck are we talking about?”
“Ssh, you need to calm down,” she said in a hushed tone as she tried reaching out for me to keep me seated.
However, I was too quick for her, and before she knew it, the chair was slamming up against the wall and I was pacing like a caged animal.
“No, I will not fucking calm down,” I yelled as I pointed in the direction of the dungeon. “Is your sister serious? Does she really want me to go in there with that…that…freak?”
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